he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
