That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
