do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
