Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just pynch a tree in the face
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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