Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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