dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize