dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
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