Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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