I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
