I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
