It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
