yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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