I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
