we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it glows. i had to have it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We need to get me chipped asap
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
