I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize