I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
high people should be assigned attendants
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
