We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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