like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
