I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
