i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
