I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize