If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
