O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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