Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
