I'm pants shitting drunk right now
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
