You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
