That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I want her autograph on my taint
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
