There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
