how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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