i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
