Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
