I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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