Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
