do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
