Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
