This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
the raccoons are back...
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