He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
