We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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