Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
third nipple confirmed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
