speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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