Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize