so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
