He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
