she woke up with a sticky ear
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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