then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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