I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
