i jhust puked up my retainher.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize