Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he just fucked me for my cheese.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
