Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
