I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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