Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
