Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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