So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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