I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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