i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
