I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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