You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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