Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
