So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
