and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
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