Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
