Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
