Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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