He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
