i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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