why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
