Betty ford says i'm here all night
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
