Umm I'm too high to move.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
