She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
