dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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