Fuck appropriateness.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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