Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
